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in my room

by connor carmody

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1.
wedding 02:30
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I'm losing my fucking mind Over you Not even close to over you And I'll apologize in advance and say that I haven't thought About you In a positive light In these past three weeks Sorry I remember every word and every vocal inflection that you make My memory is photographic when it comes to love and convictions I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news While your best friend bears the rings At a wedding I wasn't invited to I guess I just haven't been the same Without you, because we used to be Stuck together like papercrafts and glue And if you think this will stay the same You're probably wrong I wish I could be a catalyst in song And who am I to think that our Flame wouldn't die out When all that was kindling Was paper hearts and lighter fluid I've got my heart out on a sleeve that I've knitted up for you I'll convince myself that one is greater than two I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news While your best friend bears the rings At a wedding I wasn't invited to I guess I just haven't been the same Without you, because we used to be Stuck together like papercrafts and glue
2.
twoface 01:59
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Play that bad, bad bitch like a theremin Say she so hot I want to bear her kids And I'm so high I want to wear her skin To see me lie to see my arrogance Hit that bad, bad bitch with a serenade Say I'm finna blow up all her barricades say we should be calmin down but I can't relate and fuck i need a line to predicate can't breathe here damn the air is thin or way too thick weed ain't making things clear it's embarrassin' my hair is in my face high place vaped out break out the realm of the physical walking like I'm pigeon toed to my pigeon hole can I get a smidgeon of your soul? make my spirit whole damn the spirits pour one homonym go down and the other soars I keep my name on my wrist so I know who the fuck i is i been the same piece of shit since i learned how to piss you off i just been hating myself in between the hits and the coughs desecrating my health segregating our hells Play that bad, bad bitch like a theremin Say she so hot I want to bear her kids And I'm so high I want to wear her skin To see me lie to see my arrogance Hit that bad, bad bitch with a serenade Say I'm finna blow up all her barricades say we should be calmin down but I can't relate and fuck i need a line to predicate
3.
jesus 01:39
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help me god i would say once a month when i would pray acid slings from tongue when i speak words, compress my lungs discuss when they sing about my faith coat over it with a song and dance i wish my throat could believe in you but i satiate my life with chance a roll of the dice to decide what's true to separate the red and blue ain't it a damn shame i made violet tainted your wavelengths with my eyelids closed in awe of visual snow genetics gave it to me, no metaphysical woes painted over you with that brush fizzing my fingers when i feel the touch of you singing to me when i'm alone it's silent tinnitus is bringing me home was it genetics that gave me perfect pitch? or is it your outlet to talk to me in a pinch? i wouldn't know, i've no phone to commune with you, just metaphysical woes behind my eyelids when i sleep, i don't get much mileage i wake up late, and i'm tired of trying to juggle you with what i've committed to already secular responsibilities receive first heading top billing with me, and yet i'm forgetting what i should have done a few days ago i'm a mess now god you should probably just go
4.
untitled 03:03
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Sit down please stop sprinting Breathe clearly your windpipe is stunted clogged with the words that you want to say And I've torn all my walls down just to let you in I'll have trouble rebuilding when you're out Which could be soon If you're scared rest assured You have nothing to be afraid of and I'm terrified too Can I get back to you? Can I get back to you with an email or something another time? If I started to try and speak right now I'd quiver and cry and you wouldn't be able to understand me I try to say these words and I hope you won't resent me I filled your glass halfway and you called it half empty It's okay, I only ever call it half full When I'm trying to cheer you up, does that make me an asshole? We talk about our hopes and dreams And I lie to your face The only thing I want is to not have a nightmare tonight But that could be soon If you're scared, rest assured You have nothing to be afraid of and I'm terrified too Can I get back to you Can I get back to you with an email or something another time If I started to try and speak right now I'd quiver and cry and you wouldn't be able to understand me And I've seen flowers grow with vigor that I can't even imagine anymore And I've seen flowers grow with vigor that I can't even imagine anymore I've seen flowers grow with vigor that I can't even imagine anymore After you Can I get back to you?
5.
dyspnea 02:42
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I said nothing could ever ruin this I said nothing could ever ruin this To a friend from a friend to meet the means and the end But rebuttals came in throngs and it went on a bit too long I figured hoarse throats were a par for the course But of course, I was stroking over Throat lumps looming closer Liquid anchors off my shoulders I don't want to wake up from this bad dream It's so intoxicating to me And you don't want to waste Waste you're time on a guy whose emotions turn on a dime And I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't be a friend to me too I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't be a friend to me too I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't blame you Whiskey and cigarettes I'm one hell of a coper An interloper between relief and being sober Between regrets and a do-over A couple friends who just lost interest A couple more who were supportive They're sick of my own self injustice They're sick of my crippled contortions Maybe it's an over proportion But I cant muster the endorphins To feel like this life ain't sordid To feel like this life is worth it I don't want to wake up from this bad dream It's so intoxicating to me And you don't want to waste Waste you're time on a guy whose emotions turn on a dime And I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't be a friend to me too I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't be a friend to me too I wouldn't blame you I wouldn't blame you
6.
ether 02:50
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keeping up with my pace of selfish selflessness that's impressive narcissistic helpfulness can't be damned by anyone but I find it disingenuous i can't keep it up no more shower me in condolences it won't change a thing bury me in your warm despair cause i'm not trying so hard no more enamor me and it won't be fair i only chase what escapes me yell at me, swear at me, hit me i dare you please i want you to be satisfied tripwire emotions haven't kept me up all night for nothin, no couldn't set me up for success I digress from this pick me up shift to put me downs silence don't fix me up no more i have been waiting for the rain it comes down as saline pressure spouts it out brine brings pain and i shut it down my mind has mastered me you can't run after me shower me in condolences it won't change a thing bury me in your warm despair cause i'm not trying so hard no more enamor me and it won't be fair i only chase what escapes me yell at me, swear at me, hit me i dare you please i want you to be satisfied
7.
shave my head 01:51
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i forget what you said fingers running through your hair along the part, like the blood in my veins it comes back to my brain overthinking again im hoping it was along the lines of stay with me tonight those deplorable, horrible things i've said to you will never be washed out of my hair no matter how much shampoo i use might as well cut it all off, start over those deplorable, horrible things i've said to you there is no excuse, no there's no forgiveness in these sheets when the sins of yesterday stay stuck in your bedhead and fester in the foam memories through gritted teeth a razor in the mail splayed before my failures they're being washed down the sink those deplorable, horrible things i've said to you will never be washed out of my hair no matter how much shampoo i use might as well cut it all off, start over those deplorable, horrible things i've said to you there is no excuse, no
8.
sheets 02:40
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I can't be in your head Tongue tied on words you said Hours spent in your bed I made your sheets smell bad But you said the sheets smell good You said the sheets smell good Maybe it reminds you of home Back when our needs weren't met All we wanted was to be alone Now I'm alone and it doesn't make sense I'm the first to go when things get tense And you bleed when you know me best You said the sheets smell good You said the sheets smell good Like iron and pestilence The bugs have become your friends I look for a sign of slow As I gaze on through your window But your grip's fastened on your clothes Your throne of perseverance Has never been more picturesque You said the sheets smell good You weren't lying, I never thought you could I could try I could go back to work But my stubble's never been such a jerk You told me it looked fine Prying me from my mind Crying constricts my chest Breathing barely my best My heaving wasn't the worst I could have been there first They tell me there was nothing they could do My eyes were painted red and blue The memory follows everywhere In my bed, my clothes, especially my hair You said the sheets smell good You said the sheets smell good

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*Now on Spotify, Apple Music, and others* every song has lyrics if you want to read along on this story! this is a compilation of guitar diddies. it is the culmination of my mediocrity. i think this will be the last time i play the guitar and sing for 20 minutes

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released March 20, 2017

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connor carmody Tempe, Arizona

bedroom emo revival

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